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The Benefits of Tantric Massage for Men
I sometimes get asked what the
benefits of tantric massage are for men are, so I thought I’d
put my views into a blog for you. I obviously cannot speak for
all tantric masseurs; some practitioners might work differently,
or base their work on (at least partly) different philosophies/
teachings.
more
Sexual performance insecurities and Tantric Massage
I thought it might be interesting
to write about premature ejaculation, my experiences with it and
feelings about it. Please note I am writing from the view
of a Tantric Masseur/ Spiritual Healer - I am no Doctor or
Sexual Therapist. And obviously not all
cases of men suffering from premature ejaculation are going to
be the same.
more
The
Benefits of Tantric Massage for Men
I
often get asked what the benefits of tantric massage are for
men are, so I thought I’d put my views into a blog for you.
I
have 8+years of tantric massage experience
(www.maletantricmassage.co.uk), and close to 20 years of
(spiritual) energy-work experience (as of Feb. 2016). I
obviously cannot speak for all tantric masseurs; some
practitioners might work differently, or base their work on
(at least partly) different philosophies/ teachings.
What is Tantric Massage & what
does it entail?
Tantric
massage is a whole body sensual massage, where ‘all’ parts of
a man’s body are massaged (i.e. including the lingam (penis),
and if offered and desired, the prostate as well). What
differentiates an erotic massage from a tantric massage, is
the inclusion of energetic-spiritual practices/ techniques.
The massagee is not just seen humanistically, but rather as a
divine eternal soul, in a temporary physical body. Tantric
massages aims to help the massagee to rediscover, experience,
live his divine nature. There is a transpersonal side to all
tantric work, but whereas in tantric sex with a partner one
aims to experience one another transpersonally, with tantric
bodywork there can be some transpersonal connection with the
masseur, but most importantly one tries to help the massagee
to transpersonally connect with the individualized divine
spark inside, that is ‘He’. Pleasure
is
appreciated
and welcomed, but not the sole objective. Erotic stimulation
is not utilized solely for sexual gratification, but rather to
trigger the flow of sexual/ erotic energies. Sexual energies
are understood to be very powerful, they can help invigorate
ones being, but also be creative, and or curative. Tantric
massage techniques often aim to increase the level of sexual
excitement/ energy, by slowly going more and more into
erogenous zones. The client is aroused, but then relaxes again
as a less erogenous body part is massaged, etc.. Ultimately
and ideally during the lingam massage the client is brought
close to climax, but then the energy is spread out into the
rest of the body. He is brought close again, but again the
masseur stops, just shy of the
point of no return. The intention is to bring the arousal
plateau higher and higher, to ultimately create a more
powerful and satisfying orgasm.
Tantric
massage is by its nature naturist. I, as the therapist,
usually offer to be naked as well, but do not insist on it.
Furthermore I allow to be touched. Especially during times of
heightened arousal clients seem to appreciate this. Sure, they
might want to touch me, as they might be sexually attracted to
me, but it feels like there is another element to it too. Our
divine nature is naturally giving. During tantric massage, and
especially tantrically heightened arousal, clients are more
connected to their divine core. They naturally want to ‘give
back’ some of the pleasure, and energy they receive. By
touching me they ‘close the circle’. Obviously I do not insist
on being touched though, or feel disappointed if not touched –
it is not essential, and, after all, the treatment is all
about the massagee, not the masseur! (N.B.: Not all therapists
are comfortable offering their services in the nude, or being
touched. If a therapist does not advertise such practices
overtly, do respect potential boundaries, and simply ask
before e.g. touching.)
Benefits of Tantric Massage
Physical benefits of Tantric Massage–
since most tantric
massages are whole body massages, general whole body massage
benefits apply. Through massage of muscles, muscles are helped
to relax. Relaxation alone will likely lead to an increase of
blood and lymph flow in such tissues. On top of
this venous blood flow, towards the heart, is supported with
long distal to proximal strokes up the extremities. Depending
on the therapist and his/ her training the massage might
include trigger point work (to increase the relaxation effect
of tight muscles), stretching, joint mobilizations et.al.
Relaxation through massage (or other relaxation techniques)
usually goes hand in hand with de-stressing effects – which
can have positive effects on digestion, immunity and other
essential body functions.
Specific
to tantric/ erotic massage there is sexual stimulation as
well. Sexual stimulation leads to release of endorphins
(happiness hormones, and pain suppressing), as well as
increased production of testosterone (supporting anabolic
processes in the male). (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2239621/Researchers-test-mens-testosterone-levels-rise-arousal--visiting-sex-club.html )
There is not much I could find about
specific scientifically proven health benefits of prostate
massage. There is anecdotal evidence that it helps with sexual
performance, and as such supposedly it is practiced by Asian
men (i.e. they get their partners to massage their prostate).
Supposedly prostate cancer rates are lower in Asia, which
could obviously be down to other reasons too though, such as
diet. Furthermore there is speculation that regular prostate
massage might stave off BPH (benign prostate hyperplasia). ( http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/the-benefits-of-prostate-massages-20150914-gjmla6.html). Indirectly regular ejaculation, which
will cause a depletion of prostatic seminal fluid as well,
seems to have proven health benefits, and there is studies
showing that ejaculating more than on average
4.6 times per week, can help ward off prostate
cancer, i.e. rates of prostate cancer in such males is 33%
lower. (http://www.harvardprostateknowledge.org/does-frequent-ejaculation-help-ward-off-prostate-cancer). Whereas internal prostate massage can
improve the orgasmic experience for many men, for some it does
not do anything palpable, and for other yet it is
uncomfortable and will diminish their sexual enjoyment.
Supposedly prostate massage is not only effective internally
though, but also externally; i.e.
through massage of the perineum, which is usually included
with most tantric massages. Obviously, unless one has a
willing prostate massaging partner, most men won’t have the
time or funds to afford 4+tantric massages per week. Many
clients report especially powerful orgasms with tantric
massage, but even with such, one will best learn to
self-massage ones prostate, if one is after the possible
prostate cancer banishing effects (there is prostate massage
devices, external and internal , but one can also e.g. sit on
a tennis ball, pressing on the perineum)
On a side note, as most tantric massage
is purely manual, it can be seen as a very safe way of
receiving erotic/ sexual gratification.
Emotional, Mental,
Spiritual benefits of Tantric Massage– Tantric massage can have several potential
effects on ones emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing. On
a basic level there is, like with any massage, the comforting
quality of human touch, a lot of this may come down to
Oxytocin release. Furthermore if one books a tantric massage,
there is usually a clear cut energy exchange. I.e. the
massagee receives massage, and energy work, and then pays the
masseur. Liberating might be too strong a word, but at least
theoretically a client does not have to think/ worry about
impressing his masseur in any way. As long as the masseurs
gets his/ her fee, and the client arrives clean (most masseurs
will offer for clients to use their shower facilities too, if
they e.g. come straight from the office) – a client does not
have to worry about what shape he is in, what his job is, how
endowed he is, how long he might ‘last’ upon sexual
stimulation, or if he might have problems getting or
maintaining an erection. All this can take pressure out of an
erotic encounter! One might also argue that being sexually
stimulated in a professional, and non-judgmental set up could
support overcoming feelings of sexual insecurity, shame, or
guilt.
A tantric masseur will, as mentioned
before, try to ‘see’ the divine in their clients. The divine
inside of all of us, is endlessly loving, wise, beautiful,
capable etc. Not all clients might believe themselves to be
individualized divine Spirit, they might not feel anything
special because a therapist tries to see, feel etc. them as
such – but being seen, treated as such might still have some
positive (even just knock-on) effects to a client’s
self-confidence, and feelings of self-worth. Spiritually one
says that energy follows thought, i.e. whatever we give our
attention to can be strengthened. If one concentrates on the
loving, worthy, and capable inside, one would therefore help
strengthen that side of a client’s being!
Besides helping the client heal, and
invigorate his being by spreading sexual energy throughout his
body (by using massage strokes and intent, to spread the
sexual energy, generated in the genitals, into the rest of the
client’s body), with longer tantric massage sessions, I
usually include general energy healing work as well. E.g. I
give Spiritual Healing/ Reiki to my client’s chakras, to help
them balance and clear them of accumulated stress, fear,
frustration etc. energies. On one hand this can help a client
relax even further (and many clients do note that they relax
very deeply with tantric massage), but it could also be seen
as enabling stronger sexual energy flow, throughout a client’s
being, once it comes to the lingam, and prostate massage
elements of tantric massage. Working as a healer I also
‘create’ as safe space. I.e. I create a space where energies
released (such as stresses, fears, anxieties, etc.) are taken
up by spiritual energies, and taken away for safekeeping,
rehabilitation etc. Even if clients do not necessarily believe
that such really happens, or is possible, I do feel that it
might be another reason why clients relax deeper. They
subconsciously feel, that they can ‘let go’ of accumulated
stresses etc. without those energies potentially floating
about, and either re-attaching, or attaching to the therapist.
As such many clients of mine tell me they feel ‘lighter’ after
their treatment! (N.B.: one obviously does not have to receive
a tantric massage to get energy healing effects. If one is
e.g. a committed relationship, or has other reasons to not
want to visit a tantric masseur, one could go for a e.g. Reiki
session instead.). Energy flow does usually improve through
physical massage alone already – i.e. there is better energy
flow when we are relaxed. (Even less sensitive guys will
likely admit that it is easier for them to be/ feel happy,
when they are not e.g. stressed/ tense.) But I do believe that
such effects get amplified by including energy work on top of
massage…
As for the prostate massage, I have read
that supposedly the prostate is a reservoir for emotions. I.e.
to help release negative emotions (stresses etc.) it is
beneficial to massage the prostate. I cannot say that it feels
to me as if there is marked emotional release when I massage
client’s prostates, or indeed have my own massaged. There does
seem to be connection to all the chakras though. It feels much
more to me as if massaging the prostate can trigger stronger
Kundalini flow, which too can have healing effects, improve
chakra function, etc..
Tantric Orgasm (TO) – can everyone
have a TO?
There
is talk about TOs being non-ejaculative/ dry, whole-body
orgasms, and potentially multiple (http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14681994.2011.647903).
Supposedly
with dry orgasms one does not ejaculate, but rather 'saves'
the sexual energy from just 'dissipating' through ejaculation.
Sperm is said to literally be transformed into qui. Supposedly
the energy then wanders up the spine, and unites with the
divine/ cosmos above the Crown Chakra. This supposedly can
trigger utter bliss and feeling united with creation.
Whole-body
orgasms make a bit more sense to me. With tantric work, or
tantric massage, the intention is to spread out sexual energy
throughout the body. As such the whole body is (more) filled
with sexual energy when it come to climax, and orgasms are
said to be more intense, and felt in the ‘whole-body’,
rather than mainly be concentrated on the genitals.
Supposedly
with all that sexual energy throughout the body, and not
depleting ones energies by ejaculating, advanced tantrics can
then cum more than ones – have multiple orgasms.
Personally
I am somewhat skeptical about what one gets promised about
TOs. I can only refer to my own experience here. I tried dry
orgasms for a few months, many years ago - I did manage to
stifle any ejaculate and was busy channeling all the orgasmic
energy up my spine, but to be honest, the only thing I
experienced, was something like badly
frustrated orgasms. No unity, no bliss! Worst of all I started
to feel guilty for just thinking of ejaculating. I felt as if
I would be sinning, because I would be wasting energy by
depleting my male energies.
Luckily
(in my interpretation) I got over this, and instead started to
cherish my ejaculative orgasms more, started exploring them
more. To me Life is about happiness and enjoying its gifts -
including the bodies we have, and the pleasures they can
provide. As with possibly many of you - I had my first orgasms
in my teens, clandestinely under a blanket, with siblings
sleeping in the next bed. In my mind once I had ejaculated
that was it, and I'd see that my physiology, e.g. breathing,
would go back to normal as soon as possible. I must admit that
for quite some time I carried on like this, and mostly met
guys that seem to operate the same way too. Once one
ejaculates, one looks for a towel and that is it.
Sensing
that there was something else and bigger out there to be had
from orgasms, I started to develop the confidence to just keep
going a bit longer and longer. I found myself breathing deeply
for longer periods and now also experience more and more
extensive whole body quivers, quite some time after I have
ejaculated. Mind you I do still at times get some strange
looks and have guys getting concerned, asking if I am alright,
because of it. I just know it feels good and right (to me).
This might be tantric whole body orgasms, but I cannot say for
sure. I have not personally met anyone yet, who told me they
achieve multiple orgasms, or even fulfilling dry ones, for
that matter; even though my clientele could be said to be more
interested in tantric techniques than the average Joe. Some
have been to special courses. etc. I managed to cum three
times within 10minutes, without loss of erection, with one
(ex)boyfriend ones, but I put that down to mainly very intense
initial physical attraction, and it could not be replicated
once day-to-day life kicked in. I'd say the important thing is
to enjoy ones orgasms as they are, and be open for them to
become even more fabulous. Maybe one day I will have multiple
orgasms regularly, but till then I am very happy with the ones
I have already....
Many
of my clients who do cum, seem to experience particularly
strong orgasms - if that is because of my 'Touch' and the
spirit of Tantra - or simply because they will just have had
up to 2 hour foreplay (at least I could never get any of my
exs to give me that ) and, if included in the massage, an
extra physiological stimulus through prostate massage - I
don't know? I suspect it is a mix of all the above...
As
such I believe that any erotic play, that is conducted trying
to be intimate, feel one another, attend to one another needs,
heighten one’s arousal, and ultimately not limit ones orgasm
by any expectations - is tantric, whether one labels it as
such or not. (Well, with tantric massage, that is more
one-sided, but you get my gist.)
So,
if you ask me ‘To cum, or not to cum?’ – I
personally prefer cumming, and I rarely get clients who ask me
to not take them all the way to ejaculation. For me it is an
intuitive thing, but I guess there is above mentioned science
to potentially consider as well (which supports the regular
release of seminal prostate fluid, and semen).
I
have gotten into some quite passionate arguments about this
with some hard core tantrics though. Some
tantric followers do very strongly believe that ejaculation
will lead to depletion of one’s energy reserves. Semen will
not be converted into qui. Men will age faster for it, and it
might impede ones path towards enlightenment. I am not saying
that if you have a partner, who is willing and happy to
experiment with tantric techniques, including non-ejaculation,
to not do it. I believe there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in
Tantra. If you get pleasure or other positive effects from it
– great. I see this more suitable for a more committed
relationship set up though. At least most of my tantric
massage clients just want to de-stress, have a good whole body
massage, be taken out of their heads for a while, enjoy the
feeling of freedom that goes hand in hand with naturist
massage, and finish with a pleasurable and satisfactory
climax. – I would also argue, that if one worries about
depleting ones protein reserves through ejaculation – for one
our diets nowadays are fortunately usually rich enough to
replace any protein lost quickly. Heck, we lose protein
through shedding skin cells continuously too, as well as
through sweat etc – and no one tells you to try and prevent
that either. Men might loose zinc through ejaculation, but
that is easily replaced too by good diet, and or chelated zinc
capsules. Another argument of hardcore tantrics is, that they
claim most men are tired after climaxing (which seems to proof
their point that they lose chi through ejaculating). I not get
tired myself, and usually my clients do have no problem
getting up, off the couch, shortly after climaxing either.
Most even report they feel invigorated, besides feeling great. – I have this theory that perhaps
such hardcore tantrics do not connect to greater sources of
energy before their sexual practices? As a learned healer I do
though, for myself and my clients. I e.g. ground my clients at
the beginning and end of each session. I.e. I connect them to
healthy Earth energies, or some might call it Earth qui. There
is a lot of healthy, nourishing qui below our feet, easily
connected to, and tapped. Any qui potentially lost through
ejaculating a few milliliters of seminal fluid, is easily
replaced, by just doing grounding exercises.
Summary
- Tantric massage has benefits that go beyond regular,
non-erotic massage, and potentially even beyond ‘just’ erotic
massage. Besides relaxing, de-stressing, the comfort of human
touch, Tantric Massage can be seen as (sexual) health
promoting, plus it works with sexual energy, spreads it out
through the massagee’s being, and can potentially help heal
and invigorate. But let’s not forget, it can be a very
pleasurable experience/ therapy as well!
Disclaimer –
none of the above is meant to replace any medical treatment or
advise you receive. I hope that the above helps you, but
always check with your health care practitioner before
potentially discontinuing any treatment and or medication.
Feel
free to share this blog – I just ask that you keep it as a
whole/ unaltered, and reference it to me/ this website as the
author. Thanks
Sexual performance insecurities and Tantric Massage
Dear
all - I thought it might be interesting to write about sexual
performance insecurities, my experiences with it and feelings
about it.
Please note I am writing from the view of a Tantric Masseur/
Healer - I am no Doctor or Sexual Therapist. I do not
diagnose, treat or cure!
Obviously not all cases of men suffering from sexual
insecurieties are going to be the same.
One potential cause is - the energy between sexual partners
just does not match too well. This can be mainly because of
one partner or both. I speak from own experience here too.
Usually I do not have any
problems holding my erection and cumming when I feel like
cumming, i.e. waiting for as long as feels right. I have had
the occasional casual sexual encounter though, where I might
(for whatever reason?) feel insecure or simply too excited (I
might not have had sex for a while and the energy has kind of
built up). There often is an element of not being able to
relax very well with that partner. I will fancy them
physically, but there usually won't be much of an emotional,
mental or spiritual connection.
If on the other hand there is enough of a potential to build a
better connection (on all levels) and it comes to another
encounter I find that the second time things usually work fine
already. I feel that as it has come to a second encounter
there is much less anxiety already that the other person might
not fancy me - i.e. I'll be more relaxed.
I can imagine though that for someone e.g. coming out of a
long term relationship and not having had many sexual partners
yet such an encounter, where he comes faster that he would
like to, could cause more anxiety, especially if it happens
for the first time.
I would think it is like riding a bicycle - if one falls off,
it is best to get back on again so that such an anxiety does
not grow into a viscous circle. I'd say rest assured - you are
not the only man it can happen to!
It ca be scary when it happens - and a bit of a knock to the
inner male pride, but usually I find that with the next
partner (or the one after that), things are normal again. So
there is no reason to beat myself up about it.
Anxiety seems to be the main factor as it is. At times I get
clients who have their first erotic encounter with another man
and are understandably anxious. Usually here too, if they come
back another time, things are more relaxed already and their
performance longer lasting. (I could well imagine it is the
same when clients go to see a female tantric masseuse for the
first time)
There might obviously be other reasons why clients might be
anxious about using a Tantric Massage service - I do not
usually ask too much, as I feel it is up to the client to
decide if he would like to speak about this or not. Some
reasons might be very personal and I want my clients to relax
as best as possible and not worry about what I might do with
information they divulge.
(obviously I (and all good Tantric Masseurs) adhere to
strictest Confidentiality and Data Protection rules - but I am
aware that trust has to be built up and some fears can creep
up whether we rationally want them to or not)
Sometimes I feel too that some clients feel (subconsciously)
that they do not deserve or should not have good sex/ erotic
stimulation - which affects their performance.
Why could Tantric Massage potentially help than?
I feel that tantric massage could be a great tool to
especially break any potential anxiety cycle.
A good tantric therapist will be non-judgmental,
unconditionally loving (the spiritual kind of love, not the
emotional kind) and caring in their attitude. With a tantric
massage there is a clear cut set up of exchange of energies
too. The therapist gives his/ her energy and effort to provide
an excellent massage and the client pays a fee 'in exchange'.
As opposed to other erotic encounters there might not be
any anxiety about having to impress the therapist with ones
looks, attire, income or profession - there is no courting
involved and hence no potential rejection.
Then there is the potential physical side of a tantric
massage. I.e. by stimulating erogenous zones, but combining
this with a whole body massage many clients will be erect for
long periods of time. As the sexual energy and slowly built up
though, the therapist might not e.g. touch the lingam for a
good while yet though. Most client, who might fear they are
suffering from premature ejaculation will not actual climax
unless through direct contact with the lingam. They can now
experience again that they can be erect for longer periods of
time, without climaxing straight away.
Furthermore a good Tantric therapist is there to provide the
client with a service and not out for their own potential
climax). They will therefore be more sensitive to the client's
energies and have a greater chance of feeling when they
approach the point of no return. They can then
discontinue the lingam massage for a while and help the
client calm down again a bit, before getting him close again.
This will give such clients a chance to become more confident
that erotic encounters can be more relaxing and longer
lasting!
Good tantric masseurs will also feel the client's sexual
energies and help him to spread these throughout his bodies.
By spreading the sexual energies throughout the bodies the
energy does not get dissipate as such. It is more that the
whole body becomes a sexual organ. Some men focus all their
sexual energy on their lingam. Ideally we have enough sexual
energy though to charge the whole body, but if men focus all
that energy on just the lingam it is no wonder they cannot but
explode
.
By spreading the energy throughout the bodies orgasms should
be become more whole body orgasms with time!
I
would recommend clients who might worry that they might climax
too quickly to book in for a longer session (ideally 2hrs). I
have had clients who were worried to cum, too quickly, but it
turned out they had no reason to. Sometimes a quick climax
just cannot be avoided though. A longer session will have two
benefits – firstly a longer session will have more whole body
massage included – you’ll relax more and might loose
unnecessary anxieties that way already. Secondly (at least
with the massage I provide) with the longer sessions there is
two ‘high points’, two lingam massages – not just one. Clients
who climax already during the fist lingam massage, have
sometime to recuperate and then climax again with the second
lingam massage. Quite frequently, with the first pressure
released earlier – they do climax again but will take longer
the second time around.
Obviously Tantra in it's essence has strong spiritual roots.
Whereas I do not think it is essential for clients to believe
themselves in higher powers it might be comforting for those -
who do have higher believes and who might think that they for
whatever reason do not deserve a good erotic experience or
should not have one – to hear, that I never ever had the
feeling, with any of my clients that the divine refused to
provide them with healing energies during a tantric massage.
Nor that divine ever did not support the tantric healing
process!
I feel sexuality is a divine gift to be cherished not felt
guilty about!
Disclaimer – none of the above is meant to replace any medical treatment or advise you receive. I hope that the above helps you, but always check with your health care practitioner before potentially discontinuing any treatment and or medication.
Feel free to share this blog – I just ask that you keep it as
a whole/ unaltered, and reference it to me/ this website as
the author. Thanks
